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black balloons pop splattering sin all over this D-day parade, where we march, skulls on baton heads, our bloodshot eyes begging "heavenly light, fall down on me." Trapped between two ...

I’ve never felt as warm As I do now First, this isn't very good. It's a cliche, and just a turn-off as an opener. And never been so warmed Secondly, ...

The artist scuplts her a set of cherub lips, two handfuls of breasts and twists her locks with gritted stone. He sets her in a garden; a fountain splashing ghosts ...

Don't even bother.. Maggots fed the hollows in my heart, writhing to the strumming acoustics that resonate from your melody. Bereft of those late nights, those drunk second-rate nights, I ...

Hey nonny nonny yea, you're a beautiful writer. And uh.. Penny Lane? Big fan.

My friend died. She was beautiful. I'll remember her forever. Oh please, this girl was getting stoned on my couch every day, run down in her boyfriend's boxers, burning through ...

You overuse excess imagery, especially in the first stanza, and I don't think it helps the poem at all but just makes it thicker to wade through.

I was suggesting that you go through and simply click "enter" so that after every paragraph or line break (such as in dialouge) there is an extra space inbetween. Survey ...

First off, "And I'm faking" is an awkward line, it's not needed, and in my opinion, it should be chopped out of every stanza. The make up , it stains ...

Double space the paragraphs.

Check your spelling. "field of nothingness" does nothing for you, and creativity is vital in the shortest of poems. L2 should be followed up with a comma. "Disappear" looks just ...

THE SIXTH REIGN OF MYSTIC Empress The beer was warm. Aloisio wrinkled his nose and set the mug down on the counter. Two perfect eyes lay low, his head perfectly ...

You come to me in search of passion. I run through slideshow clips, flashing screaming rain, bleeding ballerinas and opera-war on the backs of your retinas. Blinking them away, these ...

These decadent days run a thick river through the westside of this town. We account bottlecaps and soda taps, to make a ledger of how much we drink of our ...

thieves driving big trucks This isn't really needed. Well-composed, and, although it was predictable, I enjoyed it. Not much to say here, so I'll leave it blank for now. If ...